Минку

Rather dull day. Got sick and spent the whole day soaking everything paper-like in the area with my runny nose eruptions. The good thing about being sick, one of the few things I like, it that I start to feel more. Colors look more vibrant, stray of cold air in my face feels more fresh and almost like it's caressing me, music gives me goose bumps easily.

But in general in was one of the wasted days, the kind I don't like and in the end of such days I feel like I've betrayed myself. I also feel very irresponsible after few hours of such insomnia when I do something really boring and mechanical, and start to believe that it's not up to me to stop and change what I do.

this day feels truly wasted. Spent most of it playing, the game started to feel boring since the mechanics or the story are not that interesting and the major awesome thing about it is the gryphon himself. Watched movie, time killing in VK. Work - 0, partially because of the period (used it as an excuse to skip work). By the end of the day read and recapped 2 articles from Genetics.

The Dutch guy keeps writing me somewhat unusual questions and I noticed that in spite of being flattered I also feel very reluctant to answer. Digged a bit and found out that I despise him cos I think he's stupid. Strangely made me feel enthusiastic to get rid of this contempt. Eliminated it a couple of times.

Two hours passed and I'm still exhausting myself with boredom. There almost was a break point when I wanted to start to eat a lot but managed to stop. Those are almost the worst states of those I've even experienced and there is no reason for them at all which makes me even more depressed.

2-3 episodes of The BBT. Listening to the animal sounds. Watched random animal videos on youtube, gives me laugh and relief. Feels stupid to suffer from boredom, like why the hell won't I do something interesting? Apparently I underestimate the destructive force of boredom and treat is just like the side effect of lack of interests but actually it's a disease itself.

Ну еб твою мать. В кои-то веки нужно рано вставать, и ебнула в жопу бессонница. Неприятное состояние усталости с перевозбужденностью, как будто сейчас 10 вечера, а не 2 часа ночи. А какого хуя перевозбуждение - непонятно. В теле нездоровая энергичность, когда хочется отжиматься, бежать куда-то. Видимо, это следствие тупой пассивной жизни, когда энергия ни на что не тратится - сильных НЭ нет, ФА нет, умственных усилий тоже. Фсе блядь, завтра буду напрягать моск.