Some music, gazing on sunset and brooding about the problem, work 1:30.

Reading book, shower, shopping for food.
Unpleasant day, again her pretenses about 'loving others' and about 'hurts' which happens to be disappointment, unproductive arguing, again distance and not talking, and of course 'do you love me?'.
What am I doing with my life?

0:30-7, 8 dao
Was reading book before sleep, then M was asking questions, and then in the night she was crying.
Hard to do something when she is crying, or trying t hide it, and she won't say the reason. This hiding of reason makes me feel more distant, and helpless.

Some more Planet earth.
Massage.

Read Wilson's Spider world.
Work 1h.
Booked hotel in X.
Ate on the roof with Planet earth.

Did grind peanut butter and then fixed it.
Ate interesting soup with M. And some planet earth.

23-7:40, 7 dao
Morning ablutions(just want to remember this word -_-)
Playing with M, a lot of pleasure :3
BTC is rising?

Have read book and cooked peanuts
some exercise and fooling around
cooked and ate
watched a couple of biology videos
bought tickets for travel
worked 1:50

Was relaxing and dozing, because had a feeling of missing activities, and not doing something planned or wanted, so I let my brain to relax and do nothing, and maybe find out what I really want.
Work 1:40.

23:45-8, 6 dao.
2h of morning kisses, cuddles and play, had nearly cum, should be more careful. M becoming more open about her body.
Big late breakfast and Planet Earth episode about caves.

Work 1h.
Eating tasty.
Good exercise.
Cuddling, playing and licking :3

Work 1.5h.
Some cuddling and kissing.
Cooking chicken-mushroom stew.

Thinking and talking about problem.
Accounted some expenses.
Shopping.
Searching calories calculators.
Relaxing with M.

23-7:50, 5 dao.
Strange interaction with M in the morning, I don't understand what she wanted or expected, and she don't want to say. It makes me uncomfortable and unwilling to communicate like this next time.

Work 1h.
Cuddles, unexpectedly sensitive body, despite low dao.
Cooking and eating.

Shower, brooding in concern.
Reading book, mangas.
Looking into debit cards options.

22:45-8, 4 dao.
Rolling in bed, checking work updates.
Distance with M, but I don't want to fix it again. I don't like the feeling that I am the only one who cares.

Movie Ready Player One, a little interesting, but felt over-stretched.
Long shopping.
Tired browsing.
Arguing about bad news.
Work 1h.
Conflict of expectations again.
Reading book.

Searched contact lens, not a good choice here.
Beat my record on push-ups, 119 reps in 15 minutes.
Cooking and eating food with M.
Looking haircuts, cuddling, some thinking and talking about my expectations.
Watched video about Sweden and Europe, about muslim invasion, it is crazy. Europeans, who allow their women to be raped, and tell their women to hide at home, are most disgusting in this situation.
It seem like the end of Europe is near...
Played with M, then we went to the night market and ate some creepy stuff.
Calming walks along the lake.
Warming in the mall, were watching some boy playing in his fantasy world.
A little of work and fooling around with M.

Restored mobile banking.
Was planning travels.
Cuddling and playing with M, mmm :)

Some stuff in internet.
Calculated expenses and fixed financial plan.
Breakfast, searched info about eating raw oatmeal.
Was sitting with M, feeling calm, gave some advise. Some cuddling.
A little efforts for EP.
Want to stop with frequent orgasms, idea fix have passed.

Yume. Yume, yume, yume.

Lately I feel like my time is wasted somewhere, there is alway not enough of it, and yet I don't feel like it is filled with life. I loose it somewhere. Want to start fixations again.
23-7, 2dao.
Washed my face and skimmed through feeds.
Want to dedicate today to the chores and planning. And some hobbies I put aside usually.
Some concern in the background about "I have to give attention to M" "I have to do something special in the morning" and about her reading this.

̶и̶с̶к̶р̶е̶н̶н̶о̶с̶т̶ь̶̶

Sufjan Stevens – Mystery of Love