Evan

Had a serious problem with wife, she hated the girl who called her bitch. Almost broke up but she show some intention to change her reaction caused by childhood problems, I will see. Condition -3 to -1

Business worries even on day off. Condition -4 to -1
At night girl licked my face and body so naturally that I also became a puppy and licked her back. Pleasant surprise.

NE quantity and intensity are very important for pleasure which can I get with a girl. And I'm not only insane at work, the same insanity in sex and in everything. In sex it's a problem cause I cannot feel nothing and I need intense stimulation to knock NEs down, real insanity. When I'm more quiet and relaxed my life becomes definitely more pleasant and sex also.

Was tired not physically but from unconscious activity with NEs, when I slow down I felt better. But very soon I found another reason to dip into worries and fears - political situation aggravation - dictatorship threat + less tourists - substantial drop in income. Tired from intense NEs, will try to think of pleasant, jerk off and read. Condition -4 to -7.

No observations, totally lost in work. Condition -3 to -1, tired.

Nothing interesting, training a new stock keeper and working with usual involvement and insanity, the only anticipation is that after the training completion I will have one more staff and opportunity to delegate tasks and problems. At first view he looks diligent and hard-working as opposed to the previous one whom I hopelessly tried to force to work.
Condition -2 to +1, sometimes above zero probably due to remains of pleasure background.

Stronger excitement brings more pleasure and makes me more active. Pleasure and excitement mix together, some soft component remains from excitement. I feel better while diluting habitual NE with pleasure/excitement background. The only problem involvement at work, especially while training a guy who is not strong in accounting software and I need to watch, stop, explain. But when I can withdraw attention this background becomes again noticeable 1-3. Only NEs block pleasure and excitement cause I spent so much time with girls but now I feel it stronger alone.

Waked up with light background of excitement and pleasure - unusual after long sleep, normally only NE and at the most - relaxation. Excitement waked up desire to read and study. Yesterday before sleep read and learn a bit of Cantonese and Japanese. Now want to read a bit of Hoking and genetics. When I read just a bit without forcing myself the desire remains still strong and it's pleasant just to feel it itself. Cool, I still have 2 hours before training the new employee.

While reading distracted to look at girls pics, jerked a bit and suddenly excitement 10 so strong that I was afraid to cum just from looking. Pleasant combination of reading and excitement. Sometimes I feel it 3-5 during a day and it's pleasant and refreshing. Want to experience it more.

Thinking of development main trends helped to get rid of intense worries and fears. Now I sometimes to stop work for 2-3 minutes and read a bit of Bo's different thoughts. It changes mood and I have something to reflect upon.

In Hong Kong police for the first time applied gas guns against people on streets. And some displays of dictatorship attitude to people. I started to worry that communist China will come. Caught myself that I'm finding any reason to worry. Switch on thoughts that I can develop myself under such conditions and eliminate worries and fears right now. Still preoccupation and fears - 3-7.

Lost in work like always. Things to do and problems will never end, but I can worry and get involved less. Condition -1 to -3.
From pleasant one girl came to fuck me in lunch break, worries and fears release me for a while - magic sex elimination, but now came back. I was so preoccupied that first reaction was to say that I'm busy but I recollected myself and found 40 minutes without any problem. It was much better time spending than sticking to worries. She asked me to play porn and it brought more excitement sometimes watch it and imagine that we are fucking not alone. It was also exciting to think that yesterday she let one tourist brought her directly to hotel. I like horny girls.

Checked my life according to main trends of development and realized why I'm so unsatisfied. I just do a lot for money and a bit for body of 6 trends. The rest 4 are absent or reduced - mind development, negative emotion elimination, close people and impressions are reduced to sex. So I will do them also and will see the changes if any.
Also I don't like boasting but keep doing it almost always cause my life is shitty.
I want to:
1) develop missed 4 main trends
2) sleep before midnight
3) stop boasting

Again working too late, in any case I will wake up also late and will feel worse. I want to be efficient and don't repeat the same mistake every day like an addicted idiot. I am the addicted idiot.

Tonight I don't want to lose totally pleasant and quiet background and rather often calm down mind and emotions when I lose it. It helps to keep it and the night work condition is above average. Hope the experience of unusually pleasant moments and short periods will accumulate and desire to keep it will increase. In this case much more pleasure will be in my life.

Waked up early, got a lesson of naughty Filipino instead of fuck. Wife brought a beautiful young girl, one more girl came later and decided to join. It was the best time I spent with girls - very pleasant no-hurry state, relatively calm mind and medium desire to impress others, no obvious jealousy, intense moments of pleasure, beauty, joy, relief. 7 hours passed too fast, I liked to watch 3 girls playing in bed - kissing, licking and fucking each other and me, dancing, talking. Till now I have background of this quiet state and pleasure. Probably involvement in work will swallow it.
One girl run away, she put Paradise down for Hell, another girl was curious to try but I was alone already.

When I spend time with a girl I like all psychopathies leave me for a while, and even this pleasant background spreads to work. Condition +2 to +5

Satisfied, pleasant sensations, state 0+3

Except for exitment and pleasant sexual sensations only insanity as usually. State from -1 to +4 on pleasure scale

After waking up was -3, now -1+1. Wanna fight for more minutes of pleasurable perceptions today.
At night when I relaxed I can see my fears, worries, irritations, pity more clear. So I can understand that there is plenty of them, they have some associations in past, they are useless and I need a lot of efforts to clean them out. It's like setting up a business - requires a lot of efforts but will bring me more pleasure later.

Condition -2, insane from work, tired, but stubbornly trying to finish one more doing instead of calming down and stopping insanity.
Few breaks in negative emotions - uneasiness and preoccupation with other people opinion - brought pleasant short relief and freedom.
While looking at a drunk man irritated madly I realized that my reactions are perverse and inappropriate in the same way - irritation, self-pity, offence.
Can't understand why I don't allow myself to enjoy doing nothing, freedom, beauty. I prefer to constrain and torture myself without any reason, very harmful habitude.

Suddenly feel from 0 to +2, a pleasant fluctuation due to relaxed work, chatting with girls and anticipation to meet them

Working, average condition from -3 to -1, sometimes I withdrew my attention from business to pleasure in chest and experience pleasure 1-2 but it lasts too short. Interesting to slow down my anxious mind sometimes it also brings pleasant reliefs.

When I get involved and worry while working, the condition from -1 to -4 depending on intensity of anxiety or irritation, when I calm down I feel better and can even feel pleasure background 1-2 in the chest middle. Working and trying to return myself to pleasant side of emotional state.

Working, jerking, chatting. Chatted with a girl doing gangbangs with 5 black or 6 local guys for long time, the only constant girl in this groups, should be really horny, curious to meet her.