Evan

Working and discussing what to do with 2 male staffs - one is too lazy and careless, another is hysteric and comes in shops drunk in his free time. Female staffs much more pleasant even if they are not able to do some computer work, will try new girls.
Condition -1 to +1.

One of the ways to get new impressions is to meet 5-10 girls a day, some are shy, other are so tensed that I have no desire to touch them, other are nice and tender, other are wild and horny, petting and fucking, if any, is also different. After it I feel to be filled in with different impressions many of which are pleasant. The best way to make impressions pleasant is to knock NEs down. Normally I have to many preoccupations, expectations, e.g. 2 girls came at the same time, I decided just to act spontaneously and don't worry and it happened in the way I liked, it was impossible to plan like this. Want to feel like this at work. Condition 0 to +2.

Waked up with NEs and thought why "love" to my wife passed so fast, afters kissing and fucking with her the answer became obvious - NEs swallowed all pleasant things. And sex is magic wand to knock down NEs. Condition +1 to +3 instead of -3 to -1, praise the Sex:)

Working with persistence and with less NEs is more pleasurable, thought over and discussed website structure, there are anticipation of online shop launching and learning Cantonese and some other pleasant things.
Very pleasant surprise - met a really horny girl, insatiable, I was tired not her. I wish I would have more hours to enjoy her sexual drive.

I like to complain about spending a lot of time in doing business, many NEs, boring primitive life. But only complains don't help. It's time to change all it little by little. Now I have not enough money and assistants, so I have to do many things myself. In business, started to arrange documents and do initial accounting. For NEs, knocked down pity and sense of despair and focused on desire to knock down strong NEs instead of sticking to them.

PEs, insanity, condition -1 to +2

Yesterday my another wife came back to Hong Kong and distracted me from work, I haven't seen her for 2 months and was very glad, we just hugged, kissed, told each other stupid words and I was so happy and in love. I'm not sure about is it real love or not, I was so happy that my attitude towards girls changed for a while. It was like sweeping out of all negative - desires, blind certainties, thoughts, emotions. But today another girl came and again I wanted to posses sex with her and her beautiful very young body. She was horny but attitude towards girls changed back. Now I feel ashamed for it, desire to possess and force are unpleasant perceptions.

Arranging documents and information at work with a view not to disappoint the new staff, placing orders. Anticipation of girls at night. Condition -1 to +1, not totally insane.

Working and discussing business, PEs while talking with J, I miss talking with simpats and fell greedily, hard to stop:)
Condition 0 to +1

Slept one hour more and on waking up condition -3 to -1, it's normal for me to be negative. Started to dip into work, trying to fight habitual unconsciousness and insanity.

I like to wake up early and look at a beautiful girl, touch and lick her, I don't like girls are in a hurry to work, I would prefer to prolong this time. During a day I also like to be distracted from work by their beauty or desire even just for few seconds, it brings more pleasure. Condition 0 to +3, a pleasant morning.

Usual worries and insanity at work, cureless desire to charm beautiful and horny girl. Without this gasping desire to impress I will get more pleasure but I'm an unstoppable robot and enemy of myself.

Had a serious problem with wife, she hated the girl who called her bitch. Almost broke up but she show some intention to change her reaction caused by childhood problems, I will see. Condition -3 to -1

Business worries even on day off. Condition -4 to -1
At night girl licked my face and body so naturally that I also became a puppy and licked her back. Pleasant surprise.

NE quantity and intensity are very important for pleasure which can I get with a girl. And I'm not only insane at work, the same insanity in sex and in everything. In sex it's a problem cause I cannot feel nothing and I need intense stimulation to knock NEs down, real insanity. When I'm more quiet and relaxed my life becomes definitely more pleasant and sex also.

Was tired not physically but from unconscious activity with NEs, when I slow down I felt better. But very soon I found another reason to dip into worries and fears - political situation aggravation - dictatorship threat + less tourists - substantial drop in income. Tired from intense NEs, will try to think of pleasant, jerk off and read. Condition -4 to -7.

No observations, totally lost in work. Condition -3 to -1, tired.

Nothing interesting, training a new stock keeper and working with usual involvement and insanity, the only anticipation is that after the training completion I will have one more staff and opportunity to delegate tasks and problems. At first view he looks diligent and hard-working as opposed to the previous one whom I hopelessly tried to force to work.
Condition -2 to +1, sometimes above zero probably due to remains of pleasure background.

Stronger excitement brings more pleasure and makes me more active. Pleasure and excitement mix together, some soft component remains from excitement. I feel better while diluting habitual NE with pleasure/excitement background. The only problem involvement at work, especially while training a guy who is not strong in accounting software and I need to watch, stop, explain. But when I can withdraw attention this background becomes again noticeable 1-3. Only NEs block pleasure and excitement cause I spent so much time with girls but now I feel it stronger alone.

Waked up with light background of excitement and pleasure - unusual after long sleep, normally only NE and at the most - relaxation. Excitement waked up desire to read and study. Yesterday before sleep read and learn a bit of Cantonese and Japanese. Now want to read a bit of Hoking and genetics. When I read just a bit without forcing myself the desire remains still strong and it's pleasant just to feel it itself. Cool, I still have 2 hours before training the new employee.

While reading distracted to look at girls pics, jerked a bit and suddenly excitement 10 so strong that I was afraid to cum just from looking. Pleasant combination of reading and excitement. Sometimes I feel it 3-5 during a day and it's pleasant and refreshing. Want to experience it more.

Thinking of development main trends helped to get rid of intense worries and fears. Now I sometimes to stop work for 2-3 minutes and read a bit of Bo's different thoughts. It changes mood and I have something to reflect upon.

In Hong Kong police for the first time applied gas guns against people on streets. And some displays of dictatorship attitude to people. I started to worry that communist China will come. Caught myself that I'm finding any reason to worry. Switch on thoughts that I can develop myself under such conditions and eliminate worries and fears right now. Still preoccupation and fears - 3-7.

Lost in work like always. Things to do and problems will never end, but I can worry and get involved less. Condition -1 to -3.
From pleasant one girl came to fuck me in lunch break, worries and fears release me for a while - magic sex elimination, but now came back. I was so preoccupied that first reaction was to say that I'm busy but I recollected myself and found 40 minutes without any problem. It was much better time spending than sticking to worries. She asked me to play porn and it brought more excitement sometimes watch it and imagine that we are fucking not alone. It was also exciting to think that yesterday she let one tourist brought her directly to hotel. I like horny girls.

Checked my life according to main trends of development and realized why I'm so unsatisfied. I just do a lot for money and a bit for body of 6 trends. The rest 4 are absent or reduced - mind development, negative emotion elimination, close people and impressions are reduced to sex. So I will do them also and will see the changes if any.
Also I don't like boasting but keep doing it almost always cause my life is shitty.
I want to:
1) develop missed 4 main trends
2) sleep before midnight
3) stop boasting