In the morning the internet connection failed. M found another modem, now it's working... I guess. I slept a little, but my head still feels like a hot potato. I took a painkiller and some cider. Very mature of me, what.
I need to write to P about tomorrow. I really have to show her the exhibition.
I feel like a piece of shit. Soon a panic attack will come, as always after so much alcohol.
Another asthma attack.
I'm at my lowest, which means it will get better soon.
Hate myself.

Nothing interesting, training a new stock keeper and working with usual involvement and insanity, the only anticipation is that after the training completion I will have one more staff and opportunity to delegate tasks and problems. At first view he looks diligent and hard-working as opposed to the previous one whom I hopelessly tried to force to work.
Condition -2 to +1, sometimes above zero probably due to remains of pleasure background.

вяк
0

Все клево. Весь день фа и Хорель.

Вяк

вяк

10:00 let's get started.

заснул в итоге в 2:30 из-за шумов соседей. залипал в нф рзд и ннв. надоело жить в хостеле с лд. охота поехать птш.

Oh, I should be here more often.
Well, about yesterday -- I got TOTALLY WASTED. I mean, like, 100/100, 2 liters of wine, I don't even remember a thing. The last thing I remember is making spring rolls for M and NM, and then speaking to A. A's doing well, got the second mouse. Mice are so cute!
I think I offended her badly but I don't remember a thing. I mean, just by the way she wrote the last message at about 2 am.
If she drops from my life so be it. I won't miss, honestly.
I lost my phone, too. Someone tell Willy she shouldn't drink that much.

Stronger excitement brings more pleasure and makes me more active. Pleasure and excitement mix together, some soft component remains from excitement. I feel better while diluting habitual NE with pleasure/excitement background. The only problem involvement at work, especially while training a guy who is not strong in accounting software and I need to watch, stop, explain. But when I can withdraw attention this background becomes again noticeable 1-3. Only NEs block pleasure and excitement cause I spent so much time with girls but now I feel it stronger alone.

встала в 8.30. Кряк, наедаться на ночь фигово

Waked up with light background of excitement and pleasure - unusual after long sleep, normally only NE and at the most - relaxation. Excitement waked up desire to read and study. Yesterday before sleep read and learn a bit of Cantonese and Japanese. Now want to read a bit of Hoking and genetics. When I read just a bit without forcing myself the desire remains still strong and it's pleasant just to feel it itself. Cool, I still have 2 hours before training the new employee.

Вяк.

:(

Спать.
Полила на мемрайзе.
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Чейто?

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While reading distracted to look at girls pics, jerked a bit and suddenly excitement 10 so strong that I was afraid to cum just from looking. Pleasant combination of reading and excitement. Sometimes I feel it 3-5 during a day and it's pleasant and refreshing. Want to experience it more.

Мяу

Декабрь, ноябрь провел афигенски, пообщался с клевый мордами вкусно поел и валяюсь в ванной с отъетым пузом, задрал лапы вверх. Все пара спать, в конце марта фстафать.

Thinking of development main trends helped to get rid of intense worries and fears. Now I sometimes to stop work for 2-3 minutes and read a bit of Bo's different thoughts. It changes mood and I have something to reflect upon.

-2 часа