After waking up was -3, now -1+1. Wanna fight for more minutes of pleasurable perceptions today.
At night when I relaxed I can see my fears, worries, irritations, pity more clear. So I can understand that there is plenty of them, they have some associations in past, they are useless and I need a lot of efforts to clean them out. It's like setting up a business - requires a lot of efforts but will bring me more pleasure later.
Увидела сп на его странице - теперь сижу и грущу.
Верный способ перестать убиваться по человеку - начать страдать по другому человеку.
А еще можно запастись "жизнеутверждающей" музыкой, вроде Radiohead, и рыдать уже потому, что никто и никогда не будет чувствовать того же по отношению к тебе. Я выбираю этот вариант.
But you only need a light when it's burning low.
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow.
Only know you love her when you let her go.
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.
Only hate the road when you're missing home.
Only know you love her when you let her go.
And you let her go.
До сих пор больно это слушать.
Пока зависала в опере, в хроме на 1 из 7 вкладок внезапно открылась закладка с видео капитана (в образе билана - невер лет ми го) на рутубе, которое она кидала в групу когда-то на 8 марта . 3 раза на повтор, поржала. mood ++
К. опять хочет от меня рисунок, уже догадываюсь какой, не буду читать сообщение, меня нет онлайн, хотя отказать ей все равно не смогу... это, сука, бесит.
ч00.38
Condition -2, insane from work, tired, but stubbornly trying to finish one more doing instead of calming down and stopping insanity.
Few breaks in negative emotions - uneasiness and preoccupation with other people opinion - brought pleasant short relief and freedom.
While looking at a drunk man irritated madly I realized that my reactions are perverse and inappropriate in the same way - irritation, self-pity, offence.
Can't understand why I don't allow myself to enjoy doing nothing, freedom, beauty. I prefer to constrain and torture myself without any reason, very harmful habitude.
Suddenly feel from 0 to +2, a pleasant fluctuation due to relaxed work, chatting with girls and anticipation to meet them
за день: подала документы на ирландскую визу, договорилась о продаже планшета, позанималась по скайпу с учеником. за 2 часа: слушала музыку, читала интернеты
Working, average condition from -3 to -1, sometimes I withdrew my attention from business to pleasure in chest and experience pleasure 1-2 but it lasts too short. Interesting to slow down my anxious mind sometimes it also brings pleasant reliefs.
What !F users say
Only today learnt about !F and created an account. Have to admit, this site is interesting and special, indeed. The idea is quite the thing! I'll be keeping my diary in spite of anything. I like this anonymity so much!
Fikus
I really enjoy reading other participants, it's so much more sincere here than in any social network.
Дынька
Such a funny idea, to keep an online diary, which can be read by anybody - and nobody at the same time.
Daryel'
I like a lot that there are no comments on !F. Here I have an impression that I am writing just for myself. I have less concern that my message will be evaluated.
!ХуеРы
I like Fragmenter very much. Now I have extra motivation to change. It's a big difference – just write to myself in a paper notebook, or write in order to share my thoughts.
Fragmenter is cool – I start to think once and again why I'm so depressed and how I came to be like that.
Туле 🌱
Fragmenter is the best thing that happened to me this year!
Aart 🐦