Evan

A leaving girl waked me up, tried to fall asleep immediately but failed. Can't even distinguish NEs, can only describe the state as "nothing pleasant will happen". Lie around like this is too unpleasant, gonna change this state.

Trying to focus on work but girls keep distracting. One very faithful wife just raped me, she tired to be a good wife. Looks like faithful wives are most insatiable in sex.

Again breaking thru NEs, when I succeed I feel better for short time and it gives inspiration to try again. The easiest and most efficient tools in my case sexual desire and anticipation.

It was the worst night with a girl in my life, sex was ok but she couldn't sleep, felt bored and tried to wake me up, talk and kiss me and didn't want to go home till 5AM. Will never sleep with her again:)
Want to read, push business ahead and girls.

Pleasant fatigue after 3 trainings, during training were some pleasant holes in NEs, pleasure from physical activity with unusual PEs.
The playful girl doesn't like another girl company so I will spend this night with the only girl not with 2 like I dreamt. Want to alternate or combine accounting with a girl, suppose that accounting may suffer:)

Today my working day haven't kill all PEs, still working content and without noticeable worries. Going to train soon and a playful girl is waiting at home, a bit played with her at lunch brake.

Waked up in multiple NEs, but a girl made me feel better. My negative mood upon wakening-up is explicable by too many NEs in past and present, but I can change it every time I want. Working with content, anticipation of the weekend, sympat coming to HK etc.

Liked to spend time with 2 girls - talking, hugging, licking, I felt relief from being an important asshole imposing my desires and expectations. I just followed their moods and desires, and it was more pleasure, sympathy and friendliness. Such breaks in my work are refreshing, especially when the heavy self-importance releases me for a while.
Going to train martial arts.

Cum twice, dull but content. Keep working.

Unaware at work, the most pleasant were kisses and touches of affectionate and sensitive girl, in addition she is joyful and eager to teach me Mandarine

Any urgency at work makes me involved and crazy. Sometimes 3s breaks help a bit but in general it's pure insanity

Various NEs upon wakening up, then suddenly readiness and determination when I started to move. Pleasant feelings, want to remember them. They should be efficient in resurfacing from NEs and also in business.

Counted profit and margin for the last 2 months - better than expectations. Worries about money are replaced with satisfaction, I'm a money-addicted robot.

Martial arts in addition to excitement calm down my mind. I cant do it directly so sex and physical activity helps.
Thinking to go to Japan Open on November 7-8 but mostly for travelling and Japanese girls, the competition itself does not inspire enough. Satisfied and pleasantly tired.

busy and crazy

I worry not only at work, worries come into my dreams. And in the morning before work I start to worry again - circle of worries or psychopathy. Don't like it, jerked and thought of pleasant things. Feel better. War on psychopathy:)

This night realized that I only find excuses at work to experience NEs or do it directly even without excuses. Now no urgency, I can take breaks and focus on something pleasant. Will try tomorrow. Satisfaction thru NEs from gradually developing business. One girl behave strangely and asked suspicious questions about business then suddenly offered one night stand instead of the gf's ambition. She is apparently sexy but I don't want to expose to risk neither business nor my personal life, Chinese mafia still exists.
Overate. State -2 to 0.

Obviously it's just a wrong habit to worry and stick to NEs at work. Now working day finished, no hurry, no urgent problems but I continue to react and behave as if they had existed. Lost time. State -4 to -2.

One board inside the receipt printer was changed and finally all equipment function, it took 2 weeks and many unnecessary efforts to solve it, e.g. triple hard disk replacement with reinstallation of all software and transaction history for that days. The last problem was simple but hard to detect. Satisfied with solving hardware problem and don't care that I'm again in NEs and insanity, I'm a business-dependent amoeba.

Lost time only worries, cannot work calmly always become insane gradually, taking breaks help a bit.

A bit of satisfaction and anticipation in habitual NEs, splashes of pleasure background. I eat 1-2 chocolate bars in an hour and didn't like the feeling after but was addicted. One week almost without chocolate and feel better, yesterday have bitten a bit from a girl's chocolate but didn't feel anything special. I have hundreds of negative addictions all of them are supported by NEs insanity.
Overeating or sleeping early can't stop till now.
I cum sometimes if trying to fuck when I already tired, yesterday didn't listen a very horny girl and fucked her with a toy and hand after I felt tired, as a result no orgasm and around 4 hours of more pleasant fucking. It's so simple and I like results.

First awakening was Ok, but the last one after dream about work resulted in repeating urgent issues in head, placing order in the dream was not also exciting at all:) Negative, depressive state. Suffering without any reason except for the past shitty life. Want to change and try a different morning - wake up early and run and may be swim before work.

Pleasant fullness. I like days when I can meet 5-10 girls, they bring different impressions. I spent the night with a childlike girl, enjoyed playing and felt to be a kid, she couldn't fuck long but she craved for a dick. Later girls came by 1 or 2. Exciting and liberating e.g. to ask phone number while fucking a girl in front of others, discuss what she likes in sex or play with her tempting boobs. Sometimes I can correct mistakes - 2 new girls met in my room and the last was pissed off, I flattered to her the truth that she is beautiful and I like and want her and it worked for a while - she doesn't want to stop fucking me but later changed back. 6 hours at work above zero, praise the girls

Today I suddenly stopped for a while to judge and despise a girl it was essential change in attitude - sympathy, friendliness and desire to help to remove sex dogmas without despisal for them. My state has also changed - permanent negative background component disappeared for a while. I like such temporary change - less NEs, more pleasant perceptions, despisal is a real poison.

Lost three hours. Don't like to go to bar areas - a lot of drunk people and hookers but tonight I had no choice if I wanted to meet that girls. Disappointed - couldn't get that girls and by looking at people killing their lives with alcohol. One girl was very beautiful but too bitchy, left her in 15 minutes, another too sexy and popular in the bar, she kissed and talked with 10 guys in 15 minutes, so I had to take phones of other girls. It was a lot of NEs but sometimes I did short pauses to regain myself, so I could feel a bit of pleasure, otherwise it would be almost non-stop suffering from intense NEs and insane actions.
One of tonight girls is coming, hope no more disappointments today.