rustyknife

my tooth crown fell out

at 6pm on workday, only one (!!!) pharmacy in the city was open, and they didn’t have dental cement to fix it

I can’t register with a new dentist here because they’re all full (only private practices with crazy prices are available)

it’s not considered an emergency because I’m not bleeding or in severe pain (I won’t feel pain - I don’t have nerves in most of my teeth)

and recommendations say I can’t eat or drink until the crown is back... do they want me to starve?

anyway, I ate and had a beer... tomorrow, I’ll try to ask my uni’s dental department to accept me as a guinea pig and have other students fix my tooth

I hope I don’t lose it

mood of the day: the old lady who walked past me in the park and said, "good day! kind of'"

I've had small red dots and bruises all over my legs for a few weeks now

it either means I'm somehow getting microtraumas without noticing, or I'm in the early stages of blood cancer

choose your fighter

I'm very anxious before travelling, as usual

the first bus coincides with my last class today, and I’m going to tell about that directly and leave the class early

but what's the point of living if you pass up opportunities for new emotions and experiences because of pointless worrying

I’m going to live fully while I can

9:20am on Saturday

I'm alone in the whole university library

I'm SSS

smart sociable sleep deprived

it's a very warm and sunny day

I got a knitting kit from Kt., and she (?) had already started it; it's three cacti in tiny flower pots

I always manage to kill real plants, so maybe I'll be more successful knitting them

decided to postpone making leche frita until the weekend, but I still need to:
1) do laundry
2) do my Spanish homework
3) take a look at my Humanities in Practice assignment, which is due next week

I want some UPF sweets, but I don't have any at home, and my accommodation is so far from any supermarkets that I won’t buy them today either

I’ll stick to apples and wine I have at home (all organic!)

the absence of supermarkets is apparently good for my health

okay, I completed 4.5 out of 7 tasks from my list today, which is already good

I felt autumn vibes today for the first time this year - took lots of photos around campus and plan to create "study aesthetic" posts on my Tumblr

the mycology society meeting wasn't bad; the free food was obviously the cheapest possible, but the 20% discount on all drinks is a nice bonus

tomorrow, I need to:
1) prepare again for the Humanities in Practice workshop
2) do my Spanish homework
3) do laundry
4) probably try the leche frita recipe if I have the energy in the evening

tomorrow is already October

crazy how time flies by

I only have 1 class tomorrow, so I plan to get a lot of other things done:

1) cancel my wine subscription
2) attend the mycology society meeting
3) read ANYTHING on my leisure reading list
4) reply to messages on all my social media and messengers
5) create October pages in my journal
6) post something new on Instagram
7) prepare for the Humanities in Practice workshop

today, I had 4 classes from 11am to 6pm, cooked food for today and tomorrow, and now I’m in the process of doing my nails

quite productive, I guess

I also need to revise my Spanish flashcards and make new ones today

yesterday, I accidentally found a fascinating book in the library called "No Man's Land: Sexchanges"

literally, all of the topics in it are right in my area of interest; now, I just need to find the time and concentration to read it - on top of all the other books in my study programme and my personal reading list, aha

A. has also become interested in puzzles, and now it’s our go-to activity during breaks

today and yesterday, I wore my most princessy outfits because I ran out of clean socks, but I still had clean tights (the cost of laundry is the source of my femininity, ahahah)

I met an interesting guy with a rat tattoo in my Spanish class; we have a lot in common, but he’s probably gay

the workshop went well

on my way back to my accommodation, I bought a 1,000-piece puzzle from a charity shop for only £3; it’s an illustrated periodic table of the elements

I’m far from being a chemistry nerd, but it looks fantastic, and I think I might actually memorise the periodic table by doing this puzzle

to-do for today:

1) make Spanish flashcards
2) do research for the Humanities in Practice workshop
3) declutter my desk to make room for the puzzle
4) do homework for the Spanish module

I can't deal with stupid people

I sent emails with detailed explanations and even screenshots to the lady in the Languages Department, trying to enroll in an additional module; yet, she still thinks I'm referring to module X (which is a completely different module with a different timetable and teacher, despite her having the SCREENSHOTS from the university website)

how is she getting paid if she’s completely unable to do her job

also, yesterday I fell asleep earlier than intended, and this morning I didn’t have time to read all the material before today’s workshop

and I just noticed my white trousers are dirty, and I can’t fix it before class

I'm on the verge of blind rage

woke up very early while all of my flatmates were still asleep (cause it's Sunday); cooked pasta and fish in peace - I love cooking alone

sent emails about additional evening Spanish classes, set up automatic payments for student accommodation, and finally finished the "results of time-blocking" page in my journal

did my nails! I hadn’t done them for a week after getting a bad cut on one of my fingers, the 1st layer is pink, and the 2nd is silver, so they have a silvery look with a pinkish undertone <3

ordered 2 bottles of wine because I got a coupon for 2 free wines from Cellar Rats; unfortunately, they didn’t have the wine I really wanted in stock, so I’ll be searching for it elsewhere

I feel so peaceful sitting in the university park before classes, I want time to stop right here

today, I have classes I feel confident in

during my break, I have infinite possibilities: I could read in the café, put together puzzles in the creative space, go to the library to write a review for my book blog, and so on

after classes, K. will be here because he got a loan for a new car just to see me every week while I’m living in student accommodation

then we’ll go home together for the weekend, and we will have a peaceful night

this is the life I’ve created for myself, although I have no idea how I managed to achieve it, given the shit I was born into

yesterday was a sunny and pleasantly warm evening; I was walking home after spending a few hours reading in the park

a man with the face of a young Zachary Quinto hurried past me, carrying champagne and sweets; he walked up to someone's porch, knocked on the door, and froze, waiting with his hands hidden behind his back

the door opened, and he did a small, improvised dance before revealing the champagne and sweets; I had only seen his back, but it looked like he was smiling

I hope he had a good evening yesterday

this week, I've been pushing my social battery to the limit, and I think I'm learning how to talk to random people in English all day long and appearing enthusiastic about it

occasionally, I really enjoy it

today, at the freshers' mingling event, I exchanged Instagrams with 3 people:

1) a very cute girl with whom I played games at the event (English and creative writing)

2) a girl who reminded me a lot of my ex-friend, which made me feel some dislike, but I didn't show it (English and philosophy)

3) a guy from India who is SO Indian (in a good way), and his legal name is Sunny (which suits him perfectly); he's not studying English, so I won't see him in any of my classes, unfortunately

I finally more or less organised my desk (took me over a week to finish this task)

I made a bowl of spaghetti with pesto sauce, prawns, and cheddar for lunch; now, I’m eating the leftovers for dinner with a glass of Italian white wine (I don't actually have a glass, I'm drinking from the bottle, but who cares)

if you want to cook something easy and delicious, step 1 - have money...

the wine isn’t the greatest, but it's also not my favourite variety; I chose it because it pairs well with prawns, and I had a sample bottle anyway

feeling a bit sad for no reason - maybe because I spent the last two days drinking in great company, and now an evening alone in my room feels a little lonely

I had a fantastic night yesterday

I went to Drag Bingo with A.; she mentioned she doesn't usually enjoy events like that, but I could tell she had fun, too

they had free wine, and by the time Bingo ended, I was already drunk; when I got home, I saw my flatmates in the kitchen and couldn't resist going in to share my experience

they poured me more wine, and we tried one of the bottles I got delivered yesterday (it was one of the best wines I've ever had), and I ended up standing in a nearby cemetery at 4 a.m., in slippers, with a cup of tea, watching my flatmates smoke

today, my body hates me, but it was totally worth it

no idea how I'm going to survive the final Freshers' party tonight

I felt so hyper this morning, but after a walk, I now feel strangely sad; I think K.'s misery is affecting my mood

I don't feel depressed or incomplete without him, but it worries me that he feels this way without me; I unintentionally created emotional dependency in him

my wine delivery arrived today; the bottles were packaged so beautifully that I don’t want to unsubscribe from the monthly deliveries, but I can't afford to spend £35 on wine samples every month

I bought fish and seafood because, according to the wine cards, 4 out of 6 bottles pair best with seafood; 2 of my flatmates are going out tonight, so I’m hoping the kitchen won't be too crowded, and I can cook in peace

I woke up so annoyed after only 5.5 hours of sleep that I couldn't stay at home to sleep more

because of my own stupidity, I don't have any toiletries or cutlery (hopefully, I'll get them back today), so I didn't even have tea or coffee before heading out

I don't know any of my flatmates yet, and frankly, I don't care

I went to one of the cheapest cafés for breakfast (they have refillable coffee, yayyyyy) and planned to read in peace

however, I saw one of my ex-flatmates from summer school inside, and now I'm a bit tense because she's 100% going to talk to me if she notices me

the breakfast muffin and coffee lifted my mood tho

I moved into a student accommodation and I'm fucking exhausted

can't pull myself together to start packing my stuff; I'm moving into my student accommodation tomorrow

but I did my nails, tho; they're shiny and silvery now

I went to the town 30 minutes away from ours to collect car keys from the garage because K. is working today; since I don't have a driver's license, I'm returning home by bus

and of course, public transport never works properly

while I was waiting for my bus, part of the road was closed; I missed my bus because it took another route, and now I'm waiting for the next one under the scorching sun

there's more than an hour gap between buses on the main route

I hate the transport system in the Highlands

my nails survived 10 full days in presentable condition - it's so satisfying to use fresh, good-quality nail polish

when I lived with my mother, I only used her nail polish, which had been sitting in the fridge for an unthinkable number of years; despite all my efforts, those manicures looked like shit after 3 days (if they even looked decent to begin with)

I don't even want to try a gel manicure now, despite having the money for it, because doing my own nails doesn’t damage them, and it's just so nice to see the results of my own work

I was doing my Spanish lessons and suddenly remembered the song titled "Livin' la Vida Loca"; I realised that "la vida loca" means "crazy life" in Spanish

these words were empty before, but now this phrase makes perfect sense to me

learning languages is magical